Ep 31 - How to deal with trolls and negativity online

Episode Show Notes

Hi, I’m Sarah Almond Bushell, and welcome to another episode of Beyond the Clinic. Today, we’re diving into a topic that every healthcare professional faces but rarely talks about, handling negativity online. If you’ve ever second-guessed sharing your expertise out of fear of criticism or trolling, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.

The fear of online criticism can feel overwhelming, especially when you’ve worked so hard to build your credibility and expertise. I’ve been there myself, and I want to help you navigate this challenging part of putting yourself out there. From personal stories to actionable strategies, we’ll explore how to stay grounded, protect your energy, and keep showing up for the people who need your knowledge the most.

• Why Negativity Happens: Understanding why criticism grows as your visibility increases.
• My Viral Moment: How I faced a wave of backlash and turned it into a growth experience.
• Five Key Strategies for Resilience:
• Preparing mentally before you post.
• Setting boundaries with negative commenters.
• Deciding how to respond—or not respond.
• Using compassionate communication to diffuse tension.
• Knowing when to seek legal advice.
• Reclaiming Your Confidence: Tips to keep your focus on helping others without getting derailed.

• Online criticism often says more about the commenter than you.
• Growing your online presence means your message is reaching people—it’s a good sign.
• Protecting your energy and staying aligned with your mission is the best way to handle negativity.
• You have the tools to choose how to respond and take control of the narrative.

• Hug Your Haters by Jay Baer – A brilliant guide to navigating online criticism. 

Take a moment to think about one valuable insight or piece of advice you’ve been hesitant to share. Reflect on your audience’s needs, craft it with intention, and hit publish. Your expertise matters, and your unique voice is exactly what someone out there is waiting for.

Join Me Next Week

In our next episode, "Earn While You’re Off: Four Easy Tactics to Keep Cash Coming in Over Christmas", I’ll show you how to avoid the feast-and-famine cycle that often comes with taking a break. Don’t miss it!

Let’s stay resilient, confident, and impactful—together. See you next time!

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Episode transcription:

Beyond the Clinic EP31

[00:00:00] Sarah Almond Bushell: Welcome along. Today we are talking about a topic that weighs heavily on so many healthcare professionals minds, trying to positively impact people's lives. And what that is, is getting negative comments online. Now I see this fear in my clients and I hear from my colleagues. All of the time. The worry that by putting themselves out there, by sharing our knowledge in a very public way, we could say or write something, you know, even just once, that leads to everything that we've worked for being called into question.

[00:00:37] Sarah Almond Bushell: Maybe you are sitting at your desk and you're reflecting on a client session, but Whilst preparing a blog or a social media post with the sole purpose of educating and connecting with your audience and helping people, you're being so careful with your words, you're scrutinizing every phrase to make sure that it's Accurate and it's balanced and you wonder to yourself, you know, did I phrase this right?

[00:01:05] Sarah Almond Bushell: Am I providing enough context? What if someone understands or misunderstands this and it spirals out of control? And these thoughts keep running through your mind and they can hold you back from posting or even pausing over that publish button. So on the one hand, you know that your knowledge can make a huge difference and help so many people.

[00:01:32] Sarah Almond Bushell: And for many of us, this is our driving force. You've got this information, you've got these skills, and you've got a desire to help people who truly need it. But there's also this Constant nagging doubt, eating away at the back of your mind, that if you say one thing that's slightly off, or if you're somehow, you've missed some new research on a topic and you're not as up to date as you should be for someone who's sharing information with the public, or, you know, what if someone criticizes you publicly or disagrees strongly or, worst of all, accuses you of being unprofessional?

[00:02:12] Sarah Almond Bushell: Now, for some, that fear goes as far as worrying that it could endanger your HCPC registration or your license to practice. And so, what happens is you keep editing, you're holding back, you're playing it safe, you're doing everything you can to avoid that worst case scenario. So, imposter syndrome thrives here, doesn't it?

[00:02:37] Sarah Almond Bushell: That's what we're dealing with. It whispers, are you sure that you are the right person to be giving this advice? Aren't there others with more experience and more credentials? And what if someone challenges you? You know, even if you've got decades of experience, that worry creeps in. And you're certainly not alone with this.

[00:02:58] Sarah Almond Bushell: I've experienced it too, even with 18 years as a paediatric dietician under my belt. And it's something that so many healthcare professionals experience. A mix of wanting to help and being terrified of somehow getting it wrong. But here's the thing, this fear is real. . But it doesn't have to stop you.

[00:03:22] Sarah Almond Bushell: Every healthcare professional stepping into the public eye deals with this. And today I'm going to share with you why this experience of facing negativity or even trolling is not just bad. normal, but in a way it's even a good sign because it means that people are paying attention. And I'll also show you how you can take back control over these situations and respond in a way that protects both your well being and actually your business as well.

[00:03:56] Sarah Almond Bushell: So as healthcare professionals, You will no doubt have spent years building up your expertise, working to make a real difference in people's lives, but then as soon as you begin to share that expertise online, it can feel like you're stepping into a whole new world. A one where people who don't know you feel almost emboldened to have strong and often very public opinions about your work.

[00:04:22] Sarah Almond Bushell: The reality is this online negativity isn't just an occasional issue. It's actually predictable. And the more you grow, the more visible you become, the more likely it is that you're going to experience it. So, sometimes that negativity starts as criticism of your message. Maybe they disagree with your advice.

[00:04:44] Sarah Almond Bushell: Maybe they have a polarising opinion on your methods and call them into question. But sometimes it escalates beyond the professional realm and it Deeply personal, and this is when it can really truly feel quite unsettling. You might find that people don't just agree with what you say, but they start targeting you on things like how you look, what you wear, or even personal things like your weight or your hairstyle or your gender.

[00:05:13] Sarah Almond Bushell: It's almost as though the internet gives people permission to comment on anything about you, about aspects of your life, that actually have nothing to do with your professional expertise. It can feel personal, even cruel. And in extreme cases, this kind of trolling can become more than just annoying or unsettling.

[00:05:36] Sarah Almond Bushell: For some people, it can escalate into stalking or harassment, which is why I wanted to record this episode for you, because I've experienced it all, and I've learned that it's actually essential to have ways to manage these interactions to protect yourself and your peace of mind. It's not easy to face the reality that this kind of negativity is inevitable, especially when you've worked so hard to build a career based on trust and credibility.

[00:06:08] Sarah Almond Bushell: But knowing that this is a real possibility can truly help you prepare. And that's what we're going to talk about, how you can keep yourself safe while staying 100 percent true to your mission of helping other people. But before we get into that Let's just dig into this real impact that this fear can have over you.

[00:06:31] Sarah Almond Bushell: So for many of us, that constant worry of negative comments or criticism can just hold us back. It can hold us back from fully sharing our knowledge. You might have a really valuable perspective, a new approach to share or insights that could genuinely help people, but that fear, that sense that even one post could invite criticism is enough to make you hesitate.

[00:06:57] Sarah Almond Bushell: And actually sometimes indefinitely. So instead of sharing your knowledge, you might end up second guessing yourself, rewriting every sentence, trying to make it perfect to avoid that potential backlash. Or maybe you just don't post it at all. Which means That people miss out. They don't get your help. And I've seen this pattern time and time again with my business coaching clients who have so much to offer.

[00:07:25] Sarah Almond Bushell: They are so knowledgeable. They are deeply invested in helping others. After all, that's why they're working with me. But that nagging worry that if they say the wrong thing, or if someone misinterprets their message, it could jeopardize their professional reputation or even their license to practice. And.

[00:07:44] Sarah Almond Bushell: That can actually become paralyzing. It's like a constant tension between wanting to stand by your expertise and fearing the consequences of being too visible. So let me share my experience with you. I remember my first real experience of this kind of online negativity so vividly. I'd been at a conference.

[00:08:09] Sarah Almond Bushell: All about infant nutrition and one of the speakers had presented some new research on baby sleep. It was 2018. I was fairly new to Instagram and you know what? I was killing it. I had this rapidly growing, engaged following who seemed to be really excited about my new posts. So in the lunch break of this conference, I put together a post on baby sleep and nutrition based on this.

[00:08:34] Sarah Almond Bushell: new learning that I'd literally just received. It wasn't just a quick Instagram story, it was advice I felt really passionate enough about that I really wanted to share it. I genuinely wanted to help people who struggle with sleep routines. Sleep, for those of you who have children, will know that it is a huge issue in the early years.

[00:08:58] Sarah Almond Bushell: So I was really excited to share it. I was hoping it would bring some relief to families navigating those sleepless nights. But almost immediately, the reaction that I got wasn't what I expected. My notification feed lit up and there it was. A comment from a parenting coach who publicly, vehemently disagreed.

[00:09:22] Sarah Almond Bushell: questioning my approach. And then, before I could even catch my breath, she tagged in a very famous nutrition professional, who chimed in to say she hadn't seen any research of this sort, and so I was wrong. My heart sank. Suddenly, It wasn't just a friendly professional conversation or a respectful disagreement, it was a public challenge questioning my dietetic knowledge and it felt deeply uncomfortable.

[00:09:55] Sarah Almond Bushell: I remember my anxiety levels rising, my cheeks growing warm as I read through their comments, my stomach tightening, And, you know, breaking out into that classic cold sweat, I felt a level of vulnerability that I hadn't anticipated. This wasn't just feedback. It really felt personal. Here I was, someone who cares deeply about sharing helpful information to my really engaged online audience and being told publicly, and emphatically that I was wrong.

[00:10:33] Sarah Almond Bushell: I actually didn't know what to do. My mind raced. Should I defend my stance? Should I explain myself or should I just stay quiet and let that comment stand? So I decided I was going to respond to a few of those posts during that lunch break, but as quickly as I was replying, more and more and more not very nice comments were being posted.

[00:11:00] Sarah Almond Bushell: So, Lunch break was over, went back into the conference for the afternoon session and I chose to ignore my phone for the rest of the day. I honestly couldn't tell you what the rest of that conference was about. My mind was elsewhere. And when I opened up my Instagram app on my way back to the tube station, I had over 1, 000 comments.

[00:11:20] Sarah Almond Bushell: The post had gone viral, but not in a good way. In that moment I honestly felt paralyzed. I ended up switching off the comments on the post altogether and deleting the app. In fact, I hid from Instagram for days afterwards, feeling too wounded and shaken up to reinstall the app. I was too overwhelmed with that wave of self doubt and in that silence, The question started creeping in.

[00:11:53] Sarah Almond Bushell: Was it worth it? Was putting myself out there worth this discomfort, this level of vulnerability? I'm sure that many of you have felt that same wave of doubt and exposure. It's not just a little sting, it's a really Gut deep vulnerability that makes you wonder whether staying quiet might have been easier.

[00:12:15] Sarah Almond Bushell: It might have been safer. It's a moment where the impulse to protect yourself starts to feel stronger than the desire to share and help. It's this emotional tug of war where each negative comment, each disagreement feels like it's pulling you further and further from the confidence you had when you first started posting.

[00:12:36] Sarah Almond Bushell: But here's what I learned, and it's something that I've had to remind myself many, many times since. These reactions, as painful as they feel, often have more to do with the person behind the comment than you. When someone lashes out at you or leaves a particularly hurtful message, they're often projecting something onto you.

[00:12:58] Sarah Almond Bushell: Their own frustrations, their own insecurities, or even experiences that may have got nothing to do with what you've just shared. In that sense, it's almost like they're bringing their baggage to your doorstep and it's their choice. It's not a reflection of you. Another thing that took me time to realize is this negativity was actually a sign of something really important.

[00:13:24] Sarah Almond Bushell: It meant my message was reaching people. It was resonating with them enough that they felt the need to respond, even if that response wasn't positive. I began to see what happened in a new light, that encountering friction, facing pushbacks was just part of growth, personal growth, but also Growth of my business and my brand.

[00:13:49] Sarah Almond Bushell: It was like a rite of passage. As the saying goes, life is like a video game. If you keep meeting enemies, you know you're going the right way. I'm not sure who said that, but it really resonates with me. So, back to my story. What did I do? Well, I left it about four days or so, I can't remember exactly, and then I reinstalled the app and nothing bad had happened.

[00:14:12] Sarah Almond Bushell: Switching off the comments on my post meant that nothing new had popped up except for about a thousand new followers and one DM from that famous nutrition professional asking me for clinical supervision because she felt that she wasn't as up to date as she should have been. That made me realize that I truly hadn't done anything wrong.

[00:14:36] Sarah Almond Bushell: In fact, I was a pioneer and other people were looking up to me. So I crafted a new post, I detailed the research, plus the full reference, and I shared it with the world. Yes, I did get some more backlash, but a few days off Instagram to lick my wounds meant that I could cope better this time round. So in hindsight, that experience taught me one of the most valuable lessons, that how I choose to respond was 100 percent within my gift.

[00:15:10] Sarah Almond Bushell: I can't control how others react, only how I respond to them. I learned that reacting defensively or impulsively only adds fuel to the fire, making a difficult situation actually even harder. But my biggest learning was to decide how I was going to handle these situations should they arise again in the future.

[00:15:33] Sarah Almond Bushell: Not just for my own peace of mind, but to keep my focus on what mattered most. Sharing my knowledge with . Those who truly needed it. And that is what I'm going to share with you right now. So let's start with before you post anything. Now, this might seem obvious. I know as healthcare professionals, you aren't going to post anything that's not evidence based,

[00:15:56] Sarah Almond Bushell: but Take a moment to think about what you want your audience to feel, to think and to do after seeing your post.

[00:16:04] Sarah Almond Bushell: Ask yourself, how do I want my message to land with them? When you take time to truly know your audience, you can connect with their emotions and it really does help your message land in the way that it's intended. You'll be able to choose the tone and the wording that's going to resonate best with them.

[00:16:24] Sarah Almond Bushell: Number two is about Preparing yourself mentally. This is all about mindset and it helps make you far more resilient when negativity does come up. So for example, you could start each day reading a series of short affirmations about your mission, why you are doing this business in the first place and the impact that you're making, or perhaps you keep a feedback log that you read to remind yourself of all the positive praise that you've received from clients and followers who A regular practice of small positive actions can help create an almost an emotional buffer so that when something critical or negative does come your way, you're more resilient to it and it won't hit as hard.

[00:17:14] Sarah Almond Bushell: So number three, let's get into real time. What do you do if you get negative comments? So, I want you to remember here that you get to decide how to respond. It's your right to decide which comments belong in your space and which ones don't, so don't be afraid to block or delete comments that cross a line.

[00:17:36] Sarah Almond Bushell: I do this all the time. If someone is consistently negative, you don't need them in your world. I had this recently with an ex nurse who initially Complained about a photo that I'd shared, a stock image of a baby surrounded by fruit, and one of those fruits were grapes. And of course, grapes are a choking hazard.

[00:17:56] Sarah Almond Bushell: So initially, she pointed this out, but then she went on to get quite nasty, and even said she was going to report me to Joe Wicks. Now, I'm not entirely sure what Joe Wicks would have done, but nevertheless, I didn't need her in my world and so I blocked her and deleted her. At the end of the day, your little corner of the online space is just that.

[00:18:17] Sarah Almond Bushell: It's yours. It's a space where you should feel comfortable, where you should be able to share your expertise freely and safely. So if there are people there who aren't respecting that, it's totally okay to block them and delete their comments. So, number four, if things escalate or if you feel like the comments are crossing legal boundaries, like if someone's spreading harmful or slanderous information, then do not hesitate to seek legal advice.

[00:18:49] Sarah Almond Bushell: In some cases, you might be able to issue a cease and desist letter. I've been there as well. It might feel a bit extreme, but a legally worded letter can sometimes be a necessary approach to protect both your professional integrity and your mental health. And then number five, when it comes to responding, you've actually got a few options here depending on the situation and also your own preferences.

[00:19:15] Sarah Almond Bushell: So, one approach that I find really useful is the compassionate response. So, sometimes acknowledging the other person's perspective can actually help neutralize a situation. So, something as simple as thank you for sharing your thoughts, my view is Or, I appreciate hearing different perspectives. Here's where I'm coming from.

[00:19:39] Sarah Almond Bushell: This can often be enough to diffuse that tension and surprisingly, this approach often brings out a softer response from the other person. In my experience, people then realise that they might have been a bit harsh with their words and they may end up apologising or explaining that they've had a bit of a bad day today.

[00:19:58] Sarah Almond Bushell: So, a little bit of understanding here can often go a long way. But sometimes, The best response, actually, is just no response at all, because not every comment deserves your energy or your attention. It can be incredibly empowering to choose silence, to decide that some feedback simply doesn't merit your engagement.

[00:20:22] Sarah Almond Bushell: Remember, every response requires some of your time, and if it's negative, a lot of your energy, and you get to choose where you direct those. One of the biggest lessons I learned with my experience that I shared with you, and something I encourage all of you to keep in mind, is to avoid escalation. So when that parenting coach publicly disagreed with me, my initial reaction was defensive.

[00:20:50] Sarah Almond Bushell: And it actually just added fuel to the fire. If I had taken a step back and given myself a little more time, rather than firing off responses to all of those initial comments, I might have responded differently, or maybe not even responded at all. Reacting impulsively, or emotionally actually, can often make things worse.

[00:21:12] Sarah Almond Bushell: So try and give yourself a little bit of time to pause, even if it's just for a few minutes before you decide how. Or actually, whether to respond. And then finally, I wanted to recommend a book that helped me a lot when it came to handling criticism online. It's called Hug Your Haters by Jay Baer. The book is all about how you handle complaints, criticism, negativity, but in a really constructive way.

[00:21:40] Sarah Almond Bushell: One of the things that highlights is the power of not taking these comments personally, and instead viewing them as opportunities to clarify, to connect, or simply to practice resilience. I'll pop a link to the book in the show notes so you can have a look if you like. So today we have covered some powerful truths about the not so nice side of business, about managing negativity online.

[00:22:09] Sarah Almond Bushell: We explored why, as you grow your online presence, encountering criticism and even trolling almost becomes inevitable, unfortunately. We talked about the fear that can hold you back, and how these reactions often say more about the commenter. than about you. And I shared my own story and what I've learned.

[00:22:30] Sarah Almond Bushell: While we can't control others responses, we certainly can control our own. And we've gone through some very practical steps you can take from setting boundaries and handling comments to responding with compassion or simply choosing silence. So the key here is To stay grounded in your purpose. To protect your energy.

[00:22:52] Sarah Almond Bushell: To keep sharing your message confidently. Because remember, every step you take to show up in this space strengthens your resilience, strengthens your brand, and with that, your impact does grow stronger. So my action step for you today is choose one message, one piece of advice, or an insight that you've been holding back from sharing.

[00:23:20] Sarah Almond Bushell: But before you do, just take a moment to think about how you want your audience to feel and let that intention guide your words. Share it confidently, knowing that your voice, your expertise and your unique perspective are valued and they are needed. And remember, you've now got the tools to handle whatever reactions come your way.

[00:23:42] Sarah Almond Bushell: When you take a step, a small step like this, you're building your own resilience, you're amplifying your impact and you are staying true to your mission of helping other people with their health. So, that's it for today, but join me next time for an episode called Earn While You're Off. Four easy tactics to keep cash coming in over Christmas.

[00:24:05] Sarah Almond Bushell: So, if you're someone who is dreading this whole feast and famine cycle that happens whenever you take some time off. You absolutely won't want to miss this episode. Bye for now.