Ep 29 - Competing Desires: Why Your Subconscious Might Be Sabotaging Your Success

Episode Show Notes

Hi, I’m Sarah Almond Bushell, and welcome along to another episode of Beyond the Clinic! Today, we’re diving into a topic that might just uncover what’s holding you back from true success. If you’ve been working tirelessly towards a goal but feel like something unseen is slowing you down, this episode is for you. We’ll be looking at those hidden, subconscious blocks that could be working against your best efforts and keeping you stuck. Let’s dive in and discover how to get out of your own way!

In this eye-opening episode, Sarah explores the concept of "competing desires", the subconscious blocks that can sabotage success even for the most determined individuals. She shares her own journey of setting an ambitious goal to grow her business, only to feel an invisible force holding her back. Through personal stories and powerful analogies, Sarah reveals how deep-rooted fears, like fear of judgment or conflict, can unknowingly work against conscious goals.

Listeners are invited to engage in a self-reflective exercise to uncover any internal conflicts that might be keeping them stuck. Sarah provides actionable steps, including journaling prompts and questions that guide the listener in identifying and addressing these barriers. By the end of the episode, you’ll learn that true progress isn’t always about doing more—it’s often about understanding and aligning with your true desires.

1. Identify Competing Desires: Uncover subconscious fears or beliefs that may conflict with your conscious goals.
2. Use the Power of Journaling: Ask yourself the critical question, "What part of me doesn’t want this goal?" to bring hidden beliefs to light.
3. Recognize the Impact of Fear: Understand how fear of conflict, judgment, or visibility can silently hold you back.
4. Shift Your Mindset: Progress is often less about effort and more about removing self-imposed obstacles.
5. Create Alignment for Momentum: When you align your conscious and subconscious desires, you unlock new levels of motivation and results.

Thank you for joining me on today’s episode of Beyond the Clinic! I hope this discussion helps you discover the internal barriers that may be holding you back. If you found value in this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or joining our community on the Beyond the Clinic Business Facebook group. And don’t forget to tune in next time, as I welcome my friend Paula Hallam, a fellow pediatric dietitian and cookbook author. Until then, take time to reflect and realign with your goals!

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Episode transcription:

Beyond the Clinic EP29

[00:00:00] Sarah Almond Bushell: Welcome to episode number 29 called competing desires. Why your subconscious might be sabotaging your success. Intriguing, hey? If you've ever felt like you're doing everything you can to reach a goal in your business, but you're still not seeing the results that you want, then this episode is perfect for you.

[00:00:21] Sarah Almond Bushell: I know that it can be so frustrating when you feel like you're putting in all the work, day in, day out, but you're still not moving forwards as fast as you would like. So today I'm going to share something that's been a complete game changer for me. We're going to uncover those subconscious blocks that might be holding you back, and more importantly, how you can dress them and create real momentum in your business.

[00:00:50] Sarah Almond Bushell: So this is another episode all about mindset. It's about self awareness, really, and we're diving into what might be happening under the surface when things aren't moving forwards for you. I'll also be giving you some powerful questions that can help you identify and dismantle those hidden barriers. If you are listening to this today whilst you're driving or at the gym or you're cooking dinner or you're just generally multitasking, I want you to make some time later in your day, just grab a notebook and a pen and get comfy and get ready to spend a little bit of time journaling out.

[00:01:29] Sarah Almond Bushell: With that said, let's dive in, shall we?

[00:01:33] Sarah Almond Bushell: Have you ever had a goal in your business that seems to be impossible to achieve? No matter how hard you feel like you're working, you just don't feel like you're making progress. There's definitely areas in Both of my business actually, where I feel at times like the growth isn't really happening as quickly as I would expect.

[00:01:54] Sarah Almond Bushell: And I feel a sense that I actually, it might be me getting in my own way. I've actually been feeling this really recently in the children's nutritionist. And I'm going to tell you about this, that in the moment. And this is what's prompted me to record this episode for you today. And from what I've learned from my experiences is this is actually a really common.

[00:02:17] Sarah Almond Bushell: phenomenon, really, in the entrepreneurial space. You really are not alone if you resonate with what I'm talking through. I want you to imagine this. You're in a swimming pool, and you're heading towards the end of the pool, but there's a current below the surface that's pushing against you. You can't see it, but you can definitely feel it.

[00:02:40] Sarah Almond Bushell: And no matter how hard you swim, you just can't seem to move as fast as you feel you should. And when you look around you, you see other people swimming, the same stroke, in exactly the same pool as you, but in their lanes, and they are zooming past you. So this invisible current, that's your subconscious, and it is working against you, but it's sneaky because you don't always notice it.

[00:03:09] Sarah Almond Bushell: And when it comes to your goals, whether it's hitting an income milestone, for example, in your business, or it might be creating a new program, your subconscious mind can have competing desires that are unknowingly holding you back. And here's the thing about that. If you know what you're doing, for example, you're following a strategy, and you are putting in the work, putting in the effort, but that you're not seeing the results within six months to a year, there's a high chance that there's something inside of you that doesn't actually want the outcome that you're working towards, and it's often totally subconscious.

[00:03:54] Sarah Almond Bushell: So you're probably thinking, but of course I want this goal. Why would I not want it? Why am I going to get in my own way? I'm going to dive deeper into that with my story. So I wanted to share this personal story with you because I've been in that same pool very recently. Swimming hard against that invisible current, feeling like I was putting in all my energy but just not getting anywhere fast.

[00:04:21] Sarah Almond Bushell: So it was towards the end of last year, 2023, when I set myself this huge Audacious goal. I wanted to quadruple the income from the children's nutritionist. I remember the exact moment that it all started. I was sitting with my business coach on a crisp December afternoon in this really cosy but quite posh cafe in central London.

[00:04:48] Sarah Almond Bushell: The hum of the conversation surrounded us and there was the soft clinking of the coffee cups or champagne flutes and you get the picture. There was, it was just this really lovely place to be. And we were wrapped up in our conversation, in the warmth of this lovely cafe, and my mind was just on fire with ambition.

[00:05:13] Sarah Almond Bushell: Spread out our notebooks, we sipped our coffees and we plotted out exactly how 2024 would be the year. We laid down this solid plan and I felt truly unstoppable. When January came, I jumped in with both feet. Excited, focused, and really ready to make this year the turning point. My whole focus was on bringing in new leads, finding the right people and nurturing those relationships.

[00:05:44] Sarah Almond Bushell: And then waiting for the perfect moment to pitch my high ticket offer. And I could already see the numbers in my head. More clients, making a bigger impact, helping more children. And of course, more money. But as the weeks ticked by, that initial excitement, it began to fade, because my progress felt so slow, like I was trying to run through thick mud, I could feel the weight of it all just slowing me down.

[00:06:16] Sarah Almond Bushell: And the bottleneck was right at the very start, it was in that lead generation part. We just weren't attracting enough leads or At least, not at the speed that I had envisioned. Every week, I was checking my numbers, looking at the spreadsheets, waiting for that breakthrough moment, and it never came. It was like standing in front of a door, knowing the key is in your hand, but no matter how many times you try, that door just will not open.

[00:06:46] Sarah Almond Bushell: Frustration started creeping in, it was gnawing at my confidence, I couldn't see anything glaringly wrong, and I pivoted my strategy. My coach and I came up with new lead generation strategies. I thought, okay, this is going to be the one. But even then, it felt like I was trying to fill a bucket with a leak in the bottom.

[00:07:08] Sarah Almond Bushell: Every new lead that I brought into the Children's Nutritionist seemed to either unsubscribe within a matter of weeks, or just when it seemed like they were ready to work with me, their objections stopped them from handing over their credit card details. And they started asking for free advice instead.

[00:07:26] Sarah Almond Bushell: And of course I'm a business strategist. I knew I was doing everything right. So this drove me mad. I'm used to seeing the bigger picture. I'm used to helping people Navigate these challenges in their businesses. But when it came to my own business, I just couldn't work out why things weren't working.

[00:07:45] Sarah Almond Bushell: And take a look around at other businesses and other entrepreneurs. And it was almost painful to see how quickly they were achieving the milestones that I was also aiming for. They were following the very same strategies as me. Putting in what looked like to be the same amount of work, so why were they speeding ahead while I felt stuck?

[00:08:07] Sarah Almond Bushell: I remember sitting at my desk one afternoon, scrolling through social media, doing more competitor research, and feeling this like pang of envy. I'd think, Where am I going wrong? Why is it taking me so much longer? What am I missing here? It was like I was caught in quicksand. The harder I worked, the more I felt stuck.

[00:08:34] Sarah Almond Bushell: And then one day, I was listening to a business podcast, which I like to think of as CPD for my dietitians and business company. And the host shared a journaling prompt that literally stopped me in my tracks. The question was What part of you doesn't want to achieve that huge goal? So at first, I'll be honest, I was a bit resistant to this.

[00:09:02] Sarah Almond Bushell: I almost scoffed at the idea. Of course I wanted to make more money. Of course, I wanted to achieve this goal. I've always been really driven by money. And if you listened to last week's podcast episode, you'll know that about me. But something about that question, just gnawed at me. It just sat in the back of my mind.

[00:09:21] Sarah Almond Bushell: So I made some time, I grabbed my journal, and I started writing. This works really well for me, and what I found is the more that I wrote, the more uncomfortable I started to feel, because slowly I started to see something that I had not realized before. So over the next few days, As I kept journaling and reflecting on that question, it became really clear to me that actually part of me didn't want to hit that massive financial milestone.

[00:09:56] Sarah Almond Bushell: I started to explore what do I fear might happen if I achieve that big goal? And the realization it hit me like a ton of bricks, because With more success, with more clients, would come more problems. I'd get more refund requests. I'd get more complaints. I'd have more customer service issues. And I am someone who absolutely.

[00:10:23] Sarah Almond Bushell: Hate conflict. I avoid it like the plague. I am the peacekeeper. I'm the one who wants to keep everyone happy, to feel heard, to walk away from any interaction with me, feeling really satisfied. So the idea of dealing with more conflict and more complaints and more negativity felt like this storm cloud that was looming over me.

[00:10:47] Sarah Almond Bushell: But it wasn't just about the client, actually. As I went deeper, I realized that I also had this fear about becoming more visible because with more visibility becomes more scrutiny, doesn't it? Especially in the space that I'm in, the children's nutritionist brand is all about helping families and children.

[00:11:08] Sarah Almond Bushell: And in my mind, more visibility meant opening myself up to more judgment. I imagined harsh criticisms. Not just from random people on the internet, but from my peers, from the other pediatric dieticians who might not agree with my approach. To me, it was like walking into a spotlight, knowing that every misstep, every decision could be picked apart, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, but I hate being judged.

[00:11:40] Sarah Almond Bushell: This was, or these were, I should say, the competing desires. Part of me was fighting for the success, for the growth, for the financial freedom that came with quadrupling my income, but another part of me was desperately trying to protect myself from that potential negativity, from the stress of the conflict and the judgment.

[00:12:03] Sarah Almond Bushell: And what it had done is it had created this internal tug of war. Pulling me in two directions, leaving me stuck in the middle, exhausted from all of my efforts. And not moving. So it was like swimming against that tide. No matter how hard I tried to swim, the current of my own fears and my own doubts was pulling me back and slowing down my progress.

[00:12:28] Sarah Almond Bushell: And the more I tried to fight it, the more resistance I felt. So coming to that realization was a huge moment of self awareness for me. It was like suddenly spotting this invisible force that I'd been fighting against this whole time. I'd been so focused on my external efforts, the strategies, the tactics, the hard work, the hours I was putting in, that I hadn't stopped to consider the internal conflict quietly holding me back.

[00:13:00] Sarah Almond Bushell: And once I saw that, It was really clear why my progress felt so slow. And that's what I want to get into with you today, the power of uncovering these subconscious blocks that might be creating resistance in your life. Because until we identify these competing desires, we'll keep putting in the effort, but we will stay stuck.

[00:13:24] Sarah Almond Bushell: Let's talk about how you can start doing this work for yourself. How to recognize if you've got hidden barriers. How to shift your mindset. And finally, start to create the momentum that you need in order to reach your goals. So the very first step is understanding that when you're not making the progress that you expect, Even though you're putting in the work, there's often something deeper going on.

[00:13:49] Sarah Almond Bushell: Something inside of you that is resisting the outcome that you're working so hard for. So let's break this down. When we've got big goals, like growing a business, or achieving a new financial milestone, or even making a significant change in our personal lives, it's easy to focus on the external stuff, the visible stuff, the actions that we need to take in order to get there.

[00:14:16] Sarah Almond Bushell: We'll Create plans and strategies. We'll put in the extra hours. We'll stay focused and we'll be 100 percent committed. But what's often overlooked are the internal beliefs and the emotions that might be in conflict with what we say we want. So these Competing desires. These are like the hidden current working underneath the surface, slowing you down without even realising it.

[00:14:43] Sarah Almond Bushell: And they aren't always obvious. They could be rooted in fear. It could be like me, fear of criticism. It could be fear of failure or even fear of success. For me, it was that fear of being more visible that was going to bring more judgment and more clients might mean more conflict. And I wasn't aware of it at first, but once I started exploring it, Everything just made sense.

[00:15:09] Sarah Almond Bushell: How do you identify these hidden blocks in your own life? It starts with asking yourself that one powerful question. What part of me doesn't want this goal? I know it sounds counterintuitive, but stay with me on this. The idea is to just get curious and explore whether there's a part of you that's afraid of achieving what your goal might bring.

[00:15:36] Sarah Almond Bushell: So here's how you can start to work through this. Number one, pick a specific area where you feel stuck. So just think of one goal where you've been putting in the effort but you're not seeing the results that you want. And you've been working on this for at least six months. So it could be a business goal, it could be a financial target, it could even be something personal.

[00:16:01] Sarah Almond Bushell: Number two, ask the question. So I want you to take a moment and ask yourself, what part of me doesn't want this? It might feel strange at first, especially if you're absolutely sure that you want that goal, but it's important just to sit with it. Give yourself space to reflect and ask yourself a couple of follow up questions like, What do I fear might happen if I achieve this goal?

[00:16:26] Sarah Almond Bushell: And then just start journaling. Write down whatever comes to mind. The intention here is to dig deep. Ask yourself why and identify any beliefs that you might hold or emotions that you might experience that might be creating that resistance. And once you start to see these as competing desires, it becomes much easier to shift your mindset because once you've brought them to light, you can address them head on and you can begin to align more fully with what it is that you really want.

[00:17:01] Sarah Almond Bushell: So this is just part of what I do with clients. We start peeling back these layers and working through often quite deep rooted beliefs. And when you do, the momentum that it unlocks for you It's just unbelievable because we start coming up with solutions. Let's take a moment just to recap what we've covered today.

[00:17:22] Sarah Almond Bushell: We've started by exploring what it feels like to be putting in all the effort and still not seeing the results that you expect. How frustrating and draining that can be. I've shared with you my own story about setting a huge goal and how, despite following the right strategies, I was making slow progress, and that was because of a competing desire, how part of us might actually be resisting the very outcome that we're striving for, without us even realizing it.

[00:17:54] Sarah Almond Bushell: And I also shared with you a really simple but powerful question to journal upon. What part of me doesn't want this goal? This can give us the clarity that we need to move forward by helping you uncover what those hidden fears or beliefs might be. Progress, often isn't about more work.

[00:18:14] Sarah Almond Bushell: Sometimes it's just about getting out of your own way. And when you start to do that, You'll notice that everything starts to shift. So here's my challenge for you, or my action step for you. If you've been stuck with something, I'd love for you to take that 10 minutes today, just to sit with that journaling prompt and ask yourself what part of me doesn't want that goal and write out whatever comes up for you.

[00:18:43] Sarah Almond Bushell: Don't censor yourself, just let it flow. And you might be surprised at what you might find. I'd love for you to join me next time when we have a special guest coming in, my friend and colleague Paula Hallam. Paula is a dietitian just like me and she works in paediatrics also, but she's going to tell us about her cookery book and what it's like to make money as a cookery book author, dietitian.

[00:19:10] Sarah Almond Bushell: Join me then. Bye for now.